Dealing with a person who makes you feel uncomfortable can be quite difficult and more so if it is one of your in laws. While most women share a cordial relation with their brother-in-law (BIL), not everyone is as fortunate.
You may have a creepy brother-in-law who tries to get close to you and makes you feel uncomfortable in some way or the other.
In this situation, you may consider telling your husband about it or even staying quiet and avoiding him as much as possible. But that doesn’t really solve the problem now, does it?
So here are some ways in which you can put him in his place.
5 Steps To Deal With A Creepy Brother-In-Law
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Set your boundaries clearly
You need to make him understand that “NO” means “NO” and there is no other interpretation. Draw your boundary and tell him clearly that you don’t like being touched or spoken to in a certain way.
Be honest with him and inform him that his comments make you feel uncomfortable and that he needs to stop. People often mistake being quiet as consent, so it is very important to clear that misconception.
Talk to your husband
Even after you give your creepy brother-in-law an ultimatum, there is a possibility that he repeats his behaviour. This is the time to talk to your husband.
Share the details of your encounters with him explain that you are not imagining things, but this is happening in reality. It might be difficult for him to accept because you are talking about his brother. But eventually, he may just understand from where you’re coming from.
Confront your creepy brother in law
If your husband is unable to speak up then when he is around, you need to have this discussion with the brother-in-law present and then catch him off guard.
It is very important to let your brother-in-law know that you are not going to accept everything in silence.
Write it down
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If you’re uncomfortable with confrontations, then penning your thoughts could be a good way to let people know what you feel. You could try writing a short message or even drop him a stern mail. Note down the instances where you felt offended and how he needs to consider it as a final warning.
However, refrain from using any foul language because otherwise, they may use it to play against you.
Talk to elders in the family
If the man refuses to mend his ways, bring it to the attention of elders in your family, like your mother-in-law or your father-in-law. Explain to them that you have given him several warnings.
However, if they refuse to accept or even hear you out, you may have to be ready with proof.
3 Things To Tell Yourself While Dealing With Your Creepy Brother In Law
Be understanding, kind and respectful to yourself first
You should be understanding, compassionate, and kind but be all of these to yourself first. You can reject behaviour, requests and people. It will always be easier to feel okay about putting up boundaries if you haven’t hurt someone else in the process.
Don’t expect them to change
It will be futile if you are trying to reason with toxic people. They may try to bend, flex and break you, but just be clear with your stand and stick with it. Don’t expect them to change their behaviour overnight.
Don’t be the victim
Don’t present yourself as a victim, instead be the one that sets boundaries, has the strength to face perpetrators, and the sensibility to make the right decisions. Even if you are alone in this fight, just keep reminding yourself that you are strong and can face anything.
Finally, if they seek forgiveness, you may want to consider if genuine attempts are being made to reconcile, and you wish to salvage the relationship. However, forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting the behaviour and approving of anything wrong.
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