15 questions you should ask at a parent-teacher meeting

The Parent-Teacher meeting or PTM is a great time for parents to talk to their child’s teachers, one-on-one. However, it can be quite unsettling for some parents.

What would the teacher say about my child? What if I don’t agree? Anyway, don’t I know my child best?

Keep aside your misgivings and let us help you prepare for the big day. Click 'Next' to see the list of questions that you should ask your kids' teachers.

1. How is my child doing socially in class?

Find out if he gets along with his classmates, and if he has friends in the class. If he is being bullied or is a bully, this would also surface during the conversation. Try to ask about who he is usually with, to understand better who his buddies are. You may need to guide him if he is moving with the wrong crowd.

2. What do you think are my child’s personal strengths and weaknesses?

Suppress that urge to find out how well your child is doing academically. Find out your child’s strengths in the non-academic areas first. Is he very good at presentation but needs to work on his mannerisms? Does she have a creative streak but needs to overcome her shyness?

If you are thinking you know your child best, think about this: the teacher spends almost half the day (or more) with your child. He or she may see something you don’t.

3. What is my child’s strength in his studies? What does he need to improve on?

Find out the details. For example, if the teacher says that your child is weak in maths, probe and ask in which areas. Does the problem lie in basic addition and subtraction or does it have more to do with word problems?

If your teacher says your child is doing well in English, ask her if he is better at speaking or writing skills, or if it is his range of vocabulary that is impressive.

4. What do these assessment results really mean?

What the results show on the report book are marks of a test or a series of them. If it is not up to your expectations, do not panic. What you can do is ask the teacher what topics or areas were tested, and in which sections your child has lost the most marks.

For example, in an English Language test, your child may have lost the most marks in composition writing, but may have done fairly well in grammar and vocabulary sections. Thus, then, only composition writing skills need to be worked on; do not jump to the conclusion that your child is "bad in English".

5. How is my child progressing from the start of the year until now?

It is important to find out whether there is any improvement or if there has been a negative change, either in behaviour or otherwise, over the course of five or six months in class. Asking this question could also open up the conversation to discuss small changes (which could matter) that the teacher may not have thought much about previously.

6. Do you think my child may need extra help in school with anything?

Teachers may hesitate to bring this up as it is not easy to tell a parent that their child is having some delays in development. Make it easier for the teacher by asking her instead. Start the conversation on this, and you may just chance upon solutions you would never have thought of otherwise.

7. Has my child been submitting his homework on time?

You may know your child has homework, but you may not know whether he has been submitting it on time. Asking this signals to the teacher that you take homework seriously. The teacher would then know that she has the parent’s support and would be more forthcoming in keeping you informed of any issues that may arise in the future.

8. Is my child doing his work neatly?

This can be a big problem, especially in the early primary school years, when some children are still trying to get their letters to fit neatly between the lines. Moreover, in school, when the child needs to rush, the handwriting may be the first thing to give. If the work is not neat, the child’s words may look a little illegible, and this may cause him to lose marks in examinations.

9. How well does my child behave in class?

Find out if he talks during lessons, or gets distracted easily or even distracts others. Your child could behave quite differently at home and in school! If he does indeed misbehave in class, ask the teacher what she does to help him, and discuss what else you could do to help her manage him better.

10. Does my child pay attention in class?

Paying attention in class and behaving well in class are quite different. A child may be well-behaved in class and be looking at the teacher always when she talks. However, his attention may not be on the teacher, and he could be daydreaming! Finding out whether your child pays attention will help you find ways, sometimes together with the teacher, on how to help him to focus.

11. Is my child able to see the whiteboard clearly?

Usually, problems with vision arise between primary 1 and primary 3 when there are lots of reading activities. Such problems are best detected in the classroom. Teachers may forget to bring this up in the midst of many other matters, so it would be good for you to prompt them.

12. Are there any specific rules in class that I need to be aware of?

Although there is a general set of rules in every class, like no eating and drinking and putting up your hands before you speak, there may be other rules that are more specific to the teacher.

For example, some teachers do not allow the child to bring any drinks to class, except water. By being aware of such rules, you can ensure your child abides by them, and save yourself any future frustration.

13. What is the best way for us to communicate about any issues?

Calling the school office number to contact your teacher may not be the best way, since you would not be able to reach him directly. Some teachers may give you their mobile phone numbers, so you can easily reach them by texting or calling them directly.

Teachers, however, are increasingly hesitant about giving out their mobile numbers, in fear of invasion of privacy and of midnight calls by frantic parents. Almost all teachers have an official email address, though, and many of them do check their inbox regularly.

14. May I share a concern?

This is the time for you to raise anything that has been bothering you about the class or school. This could be anything ranging from co-curricular activities (CCA) to the amount of homework set. Raise and discuss the issue in a non-threatening and non-accusatory manner. Remember that the purpose is to resolve the issue and not to get entangled in an argument.

15. Is there anything I can do to help my child?

End off on a good note, with an offer to help. It is a good idea to work with the teacher to ensure that your child progresses well in school. It would also make the teacher feel that you are receptive to feedback and she would be more willing to share with you.

Written by

Shoba Nair

Educationkidsparent teacher meeting